You know that saying, ‘When It Rains It Pours’? (WIRIP) I’m kinda starting to get familiar with it on a bodily level. BTW, this is a long(ish) personal post and I just wanted to warn you that I’m ill, so it may not even make much sense.
My knees are really scooting right along and I can pretty much get up- and down- stairs with impunity, at least in my own house. Plus they’re not very swollen anymore and actually look like knees, instead of alarming balloons in the middle of my legs. Which totally ROCKS and if you have dodgy knees you should totally get them arthroscopied.
However, a few days after I got back from surgery I started sneezing. A LOT. Like those sneezes where it’s actually a cascade of sneezing, each one racking your body twice more than the previous. I’ve NEVER had allergies so of course my first thought was that I was probably suffering from horrible influenza disease caused partially by the fact that I’m a useless housekeeper. But as rough as the sneezing-all-day-long thing made me feel, I didn’t really have any other symptoms. Therefore I thought it was probably someone else’s fault. (I’m still working on that.)
Then Mike suggested (gently, because 3 or 4 days into this I was pretty grouchy) that perhaps I was suffering from seasonal allergies, aka hay fever. I said that made NO sense because he wasn’t suffering, and in all the years I’ve known that man, he’s been sneezing through most of that time. No kidding. He’s allergic to everything. Sometimes I suspect he’s even allergic to me, although I have no idea how that’s even possible. When I recovered a bit and had a few cognitive abilities running, I decided he was probably right, which immediately led to me taking his prescription anti-histamines. (Hey, I’m suffering. Stop judging.)
The drugs kinda work. Kinda. But of course that’s not the end of it. I also seem to have picked up a kidney infection somewhere along the way. (Perhaps the bad housekeeping? Is that possible?) So now I’m spending each day knocked on my back by sneezing and stabbing pain. This doesn’t really produce a mental environment suitable for creative endeavours. So I went to the GP today and told her about all of it, and she said: ‘Rapeseed. That’s what your problem is.’
Now, for those of you reading this (is anyone still reading this?), if you’re living in the UK, you’re nodding your head. Oh. Yes. It’s Rapeseed. Those fields of neon yellow make everyone sneeze. If you’re not from the UK, and especially if you’re American, I bet you’re a tad offended that I’ve just said ‘rape’ in a blog post in a totally nonchalant way, because the first time I asked Mike what those fields were, he actually said, ‘Oh that’s just rape.’ And I was like: ‘WTF is wrong with you – they’re plants not a class B felony?!?’ But I swear it’s legit – here’s the (slightly disputed) Wikipedia article. Note in the Production table that for such a tiny country, the UK is a very large producer of rapeseed oil, which obviously requires field after field of the histamine-bonkers plant.
So anyway, you probably know that GPs and doctors no longer hand out antibiotics like they’re candy anymore – you have to prove you’re infected somehow before they give you drugs. So I went to the GP and she gave me TONS of stuff to combat the sneezing, runny nose, post-nasal drip, sore throat extravaganza that is hay fever. In exchange I left a sample which I expect will show I’m not even human anymore. Rather, I’m turning into ONELONGILLNESS.
So what am I doing with all my time that I should be spending on sewing? I’m reading Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson for like the fifth time. But I’m coming to the end…and I decided that in order to convalesce with sanity, I MUST MUST MUST read the Baroque Trilogy, which is a kind of prequel trilogy to Cryptonomicon. I can’t even watch telly because I just end up thinking about how much my back hurts when I sneeze. And when I don’t sneeze.
BUT (again in the theme of WIRIP) we packed up a whole storage locker full of books and other misc crap we decided we could live without. The books went in first, so they’re in the back of the unit. I can see the empty bookshelf where The Baroque Trilogy once lived. AND I didn’t label the boxes very well, so it’s not like I can just go look for the one that says ‘Stephenson’ on it. Because I lack foresight. Evidently. But I did leave one shelf of the bookshelf occupied by impressive looking books, the kind of books that say I’M SO SMART to a potential buyer. Here’s the bookshelf:
Look, I know it’s a little rough, but I can straighten it up 5 minutes before the realty people come in. And don’t those thick books look impressive? So I was thinking about dragging Savi to the storage locker to look for at least the first book, Quicksilver. Except I’m exceptionally paranoid after watching too much crime tv and I refuse to go to the storage locker without Mike. Just in case there’s a homicidal maniac on the same floor. BUT WAIT, what’s that there on the left?
RESULT. So I guess this is the time to say that I’ll be quiet for the next day or so, waiting for the doctor to decide I’m ill enough to warrant antibiotics so I can get better and live my life. And in the meantime, I’ll be reading Neal Stephenson and sneezing once or twice every 20 minutes.
I am very sorry for being so crap – my mind is so befuddled that when I opened Photoshop I was surprised to find I’d actually shot an entire no-waste granny square tutorial using Lucie Summers’ lovely new line Summersville. So I guess I’ll be posting that soon, as soon as I can actually think. Here’s a preview:
P.S. Because the Google Overlords want to force the entire planet into using their crazy social application, my Google Friend Connect widget has been cancelled. But you can still get me in your Google Reader (or any other reader) by clicking on the Feedburner (RSS) link below.
© J C Excell, 2012